I think something like this has needed to be created for quite some time. I don’t know how many of you out there will pay attention to my words, but if you are looking to build any kind of a relationship with a female wrestler, whether it be a friendship, a relationship where you are a supporter of her efforts, or even in the event you get lucky and actually win a lady over with your charms, there are some basic guidelines you should consider before engaging in conversation with them over the internet.
1. Almost every single female wrestler in the industry is busy all the time
What do you expect? They are beautiful. They put themselves out there to the world. Of course a lot of people are going to message and start paying attention and sending messages. But, here is the key. There is truly only 24 hours in the day. At the time of this article, not a single lady on my roster is able to work this business full time.
If they have been doing this for any period of time, they have 50 or 100 unanswered messages RIGHT NOW. They could hire an assistant, but do you want someone else replying to their emails acting AS them???
Some of them have kids. Some work full time jobs. Some go to school. Some have boyfriends, husbands, people they are dating, family, and of course the everyday errands that all of us have to attend to. There is not enough time in your day right now I bet. Well, consider that it is the same with the ladies and maybe even more so!
Heck, most of them don’t even get back on my own messages all the time and I’m the one that makes this possible for a lot of them. What makes you think they are going to respond to you if they are behind with everyone else as well?
When we begin talking about the ladies who do work this business full time they are extremely busy as well and in many cases, more busy than the ladies who have full time jobs due to the fact that their total business attention is focused on this endeavor.
The first key to interacting with any female wrestler is understanding that her time is valuable and she is only going to give her time to those who support her financially. Don’t EVER email her and ask why she didn’t get back right away. Don’t be sending ladies multiple messages per day, or asking if they read your last email on the same day you sent it. This is not wise or reasonable. Which leads to………..
2. Why do ladies wrestle in the first place?
Simple. Money. And don’t damn them for it. Would you want to go out and get the crap kicked out of you on camera (no less, in front of the world) without getting compensated for it or without having a goal of future compensation for it? Or, what if you lost? Those video images will be around for the rest of their life. Do you like being humiliated in front of someone you wanted to defeat on camera?
No, absolutely not. And if you do, good for you, but you are far from normal. This is going to sadden some of the fans out there, but I need to hit all of you with a big time reality check. 99 percent of the ladies who get into this business do not get into this business because they “love” wrestling other women. The love of this is something that comes with experience, and more importantly, success.
The majority of the ladies who give this a shot will never make it. Not because they are not beautiful, or not talented enough, but because most of the time the fans scare them away. Or, even worse, fans constantly harass them about having sex with them, or not getting back on rapid fire messages they send, or getting pictures or videos for free, or Skyping for free, or even worse, some fans even have the audacity to believe that a girl that they just met on the internet is suddenly going to stop everything she is doing and come see them!
No compensation mind you. Just for the love of it! Guys, let’s get really, really real here. These ladies are female wrestlers because they want to build a future making money at something that is different, unique, and has a higher ceiling than rival opportunities. If fans keep saying they are broke, or that they are going to watch things on Youtube, or that they can’t spend a few bucks a month to support their favorite girls, forget about it.
I will wrap things up tomorrow and so will they. Too much hard work, too much mental anguish, goes into what we do to not be properly compensated. And in truth, there are only a few ladies in the business who are really “making it” and it’s only because they have stuck it out and have better mental toughness than the others.
Good for them, but that doesn’t excuse the etiquette here. These ladies are people, they are busy, they are important, and if you want their time, they will be treated as such or you will not get it. Plain and simple.
Note: If you go to McDonalds, you do not ask for free hamburgers. If you call the Plumber, you don’t ask him for pics beforehand or ask him to do any work for free. Female wrestlers, for damn sure, are no different.
3. Stay on Topic
This one is a bit circumstantial. If you have a good relationship with a female wrestler already, or if you are paying for time, or if you have supported them a lot in the past, you probably have earned some extra time with the lady of your choice.
Now. With that said, I would like to give all you males out there a tip for talking with female wrestlers and ladies in the real world. Keep it topical and preferably ABOUT WRESTLING. I realize you guys like to show the ladies you have value, and you like to let them know that you did this and that, and this and that, and this and that, and that’s great.
Most ladies are not interested in long philosophical stories about Plato and Socrates, nor do many get into politics much, nor do they want to have long conversations about your Mama and Papa. Some do, but most don’t. Not because they are mean, but because if they are logging in and checking messages………..ahem………..”they are at work”.
They are at work! That’s the hardest thing for people to remember. Maybe you can have idle conversations at your job. Great for you! Well done. If the ladies have an unpaid 1 hour conversation with you about your grandma, and you have invested little or nothing, and don’t intend to, you are one of the people this article is intended for.
Leave the girls alone. They have caring and supporting fans to get back to. I’m not kidding. Go away. The only girls that are going to spend time wasted like this are new girls, and we are going to be training ours to weed people like you out. It’s a slow death and we refuse to participate.
All of the ladies in this business are not looking for their future Romeo, or looking to have endless chats with random people, they are all looking for female wrestling fans that are willing to financially support and further their careers.
If that is a tough pill to swallow, gulp it down, because there is more to follow.
4. Doing what you say you are going to do
Oh man, is this a big one. Remember when your Dad sat you down when you were young and said that all you have in this world is your word son? I can’t tell you how many great ladies would have stayed on if not duped by lying fans who promised things they did not deliver.
We have compiled a list of fans at the Female Wrestling Channel that are questionable that we will most likely refuse to do future business with. We respect our girls time and truly want them to do well at this. (With enough evidence, we may post a list here for all industry ladies and producers)
This is a pretty simple one. Don’t promise that which you do not or cannot deliver. You might think your words and actions have little meaning when you are throwing words at them on your keyboard. Then, the girls come crying to me about how you lied to them, and how they don’t like this business anymore, and how they think that the fans are just a bunch of liars who really don’t care about their success.
Why would you do something like that? Would you lie to your daughter? Why would you lie to these girls? All ladies are still a child at heart female wrestler or no. Don’t be an ass. Be a light.
5. Why do the Ladies and the Companies require payment up front?
Refer to Number #4 above.
6. I can’t find ladies that want to wrestle me in my area in Mixed Action, why is that?
Refer to Number #2 above.
7. Why do ladies not want to session wrestle with me?
It could be for a number of reasons. None of our girls (that I know of) currently offer wrestling sessions with fans. We have a few that will do sessions for “certain” fans who have invested with them over the years through Skype chats and through other channels.
To our ladies in Indiana the truth is that is simply feels like porn. We can’t quite get past that stigma. Some ladies outside of the Female Wrestling Channel are porn stars already so it comes much more natural and easier to those ladies and that’s ok with us.
Our level of comfort is not there and may never get there.
For the ladies who do session, and won’t session with you, it could be for a number of reasons. It might be that you are pushy, it might be that they just don’t like you, or it could be that they are so busy that they are not receiving your messages.
Either way, the female wrestling world is not Wal-mart. You can’t just go up and pick what you want off the shelves and take it home. When dealing with people, not objects, you must respect their time and work within their personal parameters. If this is hard to understand it may be that you treat ladies as objects and not the human beings that they are.
8. Why are the ladies on Social Media and why did they add me if they don’t want to have sex with me or don’t want to talk to me all day long?
The ladies are on social media to get the word out on what they do as performers. That’s the only reason they are there. They want to connect with like minded fans who support them and give those fans their time. They are currently searching for fans. Just fans. Not boyfriends, not sex partners, not chat buddies, they are first and foremost looking for supporters of what they do.
For a more conclusive explanation, please refer to #1 and #2 above.
9. Understand the Power of the Compliment
Whether you are trying to get to know a woman in the real world, or getting to know a lady that is a female wrestler, it would be very good of you to understand the massive power of a simple compliment.
Just sending them a short message saying…………hey great match! Or, hey, better luck next time! Or, giving them some tips to improve, or telling them that you really like their outfit, or their look, or that you really want to see them beat “so and so”.
This is gold ladies and gentlemen. Most of our newer ladies wonder if there are many people watching at all. I know they are, but most won’t take the time to send them a simple message of support. You just have no idea how valuable this is.
Please do it often. As much as possible. Ladies can never get enough compliments. It is literally the fuel that keeps them running in a very head trash driven world.
10. Rinse and Repeat
In truth, none of this is complicated. What this article puts forth is very simple. Have respect when you contact a female wrestler. Understand her time constraints. Understand that you can’t rely on all the other female wrestling fans to do all the funding for you. You are an individual that is sovereign and you can move the world just as much as any of us if you choose to do so.
These ladies do this for the money first. The love comes after when they get validation from the fans. Validation comes in the form of compliments and money. If you don’t have money to invest we understand. But, understand that the ladies must put their time into the people that support them.
There is no other way and there shouldn’t be another way.
Support your favorite Female Wrestlers right now.
- Get a membership at the FWC
- Set up a Skype session with your Favorite Lady
- Like and send a private message to your favorite lady on Facebook
- How Sponsorship and Sponsorship Points work at the FWC